No Fishing from the Pier

I’m easily distracted; if I was born 10 years later I would have probably been deemed worthy of the perpetual ADD diagnosis. But alas I was not and so must continually rein myself back in from my sudden bouts of diverted attention. Where have I been you ask? Instead of penning witty nothings in your ear, I have been filling the inboxes of strangers to no avail.

It’s true. In a sudden fit of fancy (or boredom) I had the insight to re-establish myself into one of the most perverse and egocentric institutions that this age has seen yet; online dating. After the last time, and admittedly the time before that, I swore that I would never subject myself to that again. Following months of built up tension and derision from continual feelings of rejection, misinterpretation and a slight film of sliminess; the gratification of finally hitting the delete button on a profile that you have rewritten 15 times, shortened all of your words to under 5 letters so they could be understood (but they are still too long, Damn you!) and you have lost all hope in humanity (or just the opposite sex). Where is Darwin when you really need him?

DELETE. Sigh…of relief. It’s gone, swept under the rug as if your 3 months of wasted time never happened. And it didn’t happen, you were never there, you don’t believe in dating sites and the people who are on them are weird. Of course, until a year later when you get really bored and the cycle starts anew. But don’t worry my friends; I’ve caught myself just in the nick of time. No submersion this time. I’m back and raring to go.

Coming up next: more vintage, more weddings, more bargains, guarantied random information and kudos to some of my favorite people, who just happen to be more talented then I (yes, that was a plug). Stay tuned.